Wondering Hearts
by damonspain
Summary: Damon and Elena have been best friends for their whole life. Suddenly, at 16 years old, they are hit with big news which derails their whole relationship. What will happen when they reconnect? DELENA. AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

I wanna be sure  
>That your hearts on fire<br>And you're gonna be pure  
>And that your love is all mine...<p>

* * *

><p>"There we go; the mini fridge is finally installed!" Caroline says proudly as she plugs in the appliance for our new dorm room.<p>

We just started freshman year at NYU two weeks ago.

I honestly can't believe I'm already in college and in New York no less! It feels like just yesterday I was eleven years old, deciding what to wear to my last day of elementary school. Now I'm eighteen years old and actually starting my freshman year at my dream college.

I guess you could say that I grew up in a little town in West Virginia called Mystic Falls, however when I was sixteen and at the start of sophomore year, my family moved to Seattle which is where I really got to grow up and become the person I am today. I met Caroline in Seattle, where we went to high school together and became best of friends. I have always dreamt of going to New York for college. Being able to do it with my best friend and to meet an amazing new friend who both me and Caroline are already so close to, is like the icing on top. It honestly feels like all three of us have been friends for years, which is a huge relief.

Being so close to both Caroline and Bonnie, makes me so excited to see where our college experience takes us, especially in our freshmen year.

"Elena? Earth to Elena!?" Bonnie says bringing me out of my deeply consuming thoughts as she waves her hands in front of my face.

"Yeah, um sorry, what? I ask confused while trying to return to the conversation between Bonnie and Caroline.

"Well, I was just saying that we should properly unpack into the wardrobes, we are still living out of our suitcases after two whole weeks" Bonnie points out.

She's right; none of us have even started to unpack our suitcases yet which is a little bit ridiculous.

"Okay, let's all do it now." Caroline starts "The first one completely unpacked gets to choose the party we go to tonight!" Caroline says, purposely making it into a competition.

We were invited to three parties over the week for the same night and we haven't been able to agree on which one to go to. Maybe this will settle it once and for all. We all start quickly unpacking, going through our bags which are pretty much packed with our whole lives.

When I am almost finished unpacking, I start to go through the last pocket in my suitcase. It holds my hair curler, my hair straightener and another little box. I put away the hair appliances before I pick up the small box and wonder what it is. My Mom and Dad must have left it in there for me as a going away present.

I open the box carefully and as I catch the first glimpse of what the box conceals, I gasp. I haven't seen it for years. I thought I had seen the last of it. Caroline and Bonnie quickly come over to my bed to see what I am so shocked about.

"Oh wow, that's beautiful" Caroline says and Bonnie agrees as they see the necklace sitting in the felt covered box. "Is it new?" Caroline asks.

"Oh my God I haven't seen this since I was sixteen…" I trail off, answering Caroline's question.

Before I know it both Bonnie and Caroline jump onto my bed and make themselves comfortable while looking up at me with querying eyes. "I sense a story coming, that you haven't even told _me_ yet." Caroline says in a slightly offended tone, but I know she's joking.

She's right. There is something, or rather someone, that I haven't told her about. I haven't thought about him since I first moved to Seattle, or at least I've tried my hardest to try and forget about those years. All of the memories of my childhood start flooding back as I rack my brain trying to uncover what actually happened. I'm kidding myself if I think that it was easy to try and erase him out of my memory, because it certainly wasn't. I cried almost every night over him when I first moved, but one day I decided that I couldn't live like this anymore, and decided to bottle up all of my feelings and pretend that he never existed.

"His name was Damon…" I trail off as I begin explaining a large portion of my childhood to both Caroline and Bonnie, their faces looking at me with pure concentration and compassion as they notice me already starting to tear up.

* * *

><p><strong>~ 3 years earlier ~<br>Mystic Falls**

"Oh my god. Damon! Stop!" I scream as I walk into my bedroom and see him casually sitting on my bed holding my diary. He flashes his familiar smirk when he realizes that I've entered the room and quickly tries to make it look like he wasn't reading the book that holds all of my deepest darkest secrets. Damon knows nearly everything about me; we've been friends since we were born. I can't remember a time when we weren't best friends. My parents, Grayson and Miranda and Damon's Parents, Giuseppe and Maria met at birthing classes 16 years ago when they were pregnant with both of us. Our birthdays are a month apart, of course he is older and he brags about it with every chance he gets, trust me.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if Damon wasn't my best friend. I would be a completely different person. He keeps things fun and alive and I feel like I can tell him anything at any time and he would be there for me. He knows things about me that I would never tell anybody else, I know everything about him as well. It's like we have our own bubble of trust that nobody can penetrate, and I love it.

Our families are as close as I imagine two separate families could ever be. Maria and Giuseppe are Italian so they are amazing at cooking and we have dinners together pretty much every weekend, alternating between our houses.

We both go to Mystic Falls High School and we just started sophomore year two weeks ago.

I walk up to my wardrobe and pull out my favourite grey hoodie and put it on; I turn around expecting to see Damon trying to hide the fact that he is still flipping through my diary but instead I am met with him softly watching me. I freeze. He has started doing that more lately, paying a little more attention to me then he used to. Our eyes meet for a second and he quickly looks down.

"So, we should probably go downstairs…" he suddenly says getting up from my bed and pushing past me as he makes his way out of my room. Both of our families are already down there setting up for dinner, as we make our way down the stairs.

"Ahh you two are finally down, dinner is just about ready." My dad says as he notices Damon walking into the kitchen and me trailing slowly behind him.

"Hey Elena, can you call Jeremy and Stefan down for dinner please?" My mom asks as she enters the house from the back yard with some of the food that is ready from the barbeque.

"Jeremy! Stefan! I yell as I walk to the bottom of the stairs. They are probably playing Xbox or something. That's all they ever do at 14 years old. Suddenly, Stefan and Jeremy start tumbling down the stairs shoving each other as they go. "You totally killed me with that last shot, dude." Stefan says sarcastically while laughing as he and Jeremy nudge each other down the stairs. "Oh my god! Stef, I was so close to getting you, stop bringing it up!" he states while laughing. Stefan and Jeremy are just as close as me and Damon are, which isn't a surprise considering the amount of time both of our families spend together.

As soon as Jeremy and Stefan pass me making their way to the kitchen I get startled when I feel hands on my hips. I start screaming and giggling because I know what's coming next as Damon starts to tickle me up and down the sides of my body. I fling myself back against Damon's chest; I can never control myself when he starts to tickle me like this.

We quickly travel towards the couch, as we continue squirming. Suddenly we lean back against the couch in the living room. He suddenly tickles a spot under my arm which makes me jump backwards and we both fall over the couch cushions and into the couch on top of each other laughing.

"Oh my god, Lena" Damon laughs as we try to get off the couch. I finally find my balance and stand up. I turn around to see Damon still lying on the couch, I offer a hand out to him and he lifts his hand up for me to take. I begin to pull him up but suddenly with exceptional force he pulls me down and I land on top of him on the couch once again.

Our lips are inches apart as we both look into each other's eyes, his beautiful bright blue ones which remind me of the ocean and summer time. Every time I look into his eyes I tend to lose touch of my surroundings, I forget where I am and what I'm doing. As we lie there I can see the hesitation in his eyes as I slowly inch closer to his lips. It doesn't even occur to me that we aren't alone when we hear a cough from behind the couch. We both jump and climb off each other as my dad looks down at us with a questioning look.

"What's going on with you two?" he asks.

"Nothing!" I say quickly as I push myself off of Damon and speed walk towards the kitchen. I turn back to see Damon walking past my dad and towards me. Before Damon reaches me I look at my dad who is behind us both and he subtly smiles at the ground and then looks in our direction.

"Hey, are you okay?" Damon whispers as he passes me on his way to the dining room.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I say as I breathe out heavily and give him a reassuring smile.

He gives me a small nod while looking at me with a look in his eyes that I don't think I've seen before. He gives me a slight smirk before he walks past me to go and sit down at the dining table.

What is happening with us? I've never felt like this towards Damon before. But the thing is I can't quite pin point what my feelings actually are.

Still questioning myself, I get torn away from my thoughts as Maria calls for me to sit down at the table. As we are all seated in our usuals spots on the table, Grayson conducts a toast like he does every time we have our dinner parties.

"Thanks so much to everyone for turning up tonight." he says before everyone starts laughing.

"It's not like we had a choice" Jeremy states while smiling.

"Anyway, I hope we all enjoy the food and cherish this dinner together like we do every week," Grayson continues. "All right, dig in everyone!"

As we start the meal, everyone leading different conversations, my dad realizes there is no ranch on the table. As he starts standing up to dig it out of the pantry, Damon intrudes by saying "Don't worry Gray, I'll get It". He stands up and disappears into the walk-in pantry within our kitchen.

Soon after he comes out again with a confused look on his face, "the ranch isn't in its usual spot, I can't find it" he states.

"I'll help you" I say while getting up from my chair and making my way to the pantry. The small space barely holds the two of us comfortably and we are pushed up against each other as we both search the shelfs in front of us.

"Here it is!" I say as I turn around quickly to face him. I inhale a breath quickly as I come face to face with Damon, the next thing I know our lips are inches apart just like they were on the couch not too long ago.

How are we in this situation again? Two times in one night, it has to be a major record for us.

"What are we doing?" Damon suddenly asks. I feel his warm breath against my lips as he asks the question that I am trying to answer myself within my own churning thoughts. His very blue eyes distract me as they give off an extremely confused look, mirroring with what I suppose mine to look like in this moment.

"I…I..." I trail off stuttering as I try to look for words to describe what's happening.

Suddenly, we are pulled out of this little world we have created between the two of us inside the Gilbert pantry, by Giuseppe suddenly asking "Are you two okay in there?"

Being the klutz that I am, I quickly fling backwards away from Damon and wack my head on one of the shelves behind me.

Out of nowhere, Damon begins laughing hysterically and the moment we were both sharing five seconds ago is completely forgotten.

He falls forward out of the pantry and onto the floor of my kitchen as he struggles to control his laughter.

"Shut up Damon!" I whine at him, rubbing the bump that I can already feel forming on the back of my head.

When everyone finally understands what happened to cause Damon to lose control like that, they all start laughing along with him. Being the only one not laughing, I push past Damon on the floor kicking him in the leg softly while passing, as I make my way back to my seat at the table, put down the ranch that I am still holding and endure the laughter that is directed at me from everyone in the room.

A few moments later I feel Damon's hands on my shoulders as he brings his head forward near my head and says "I think that was just about the funniest and stupidest thing I have ever seen anyone do." Damon jokes before he takes his hand off my shoulders and sits down in the seat to my right.

"And on that note, everyone continue eating, the ranch has finally been found!" My dad says while still laughing at the antics that go on between our two families.

* * *

><p>As everyone is finishing their dinner, I look over to my parents when I see a subtle nod from my mom to my dad. Before I can question what this is about both my mom and dad are standing up at the head of the table in front of our two families.<p>

"We have some news we would like to share with you all" My dad says suddenly as everyone's attention is focused on them.

"This is something that we have been putting off telling everyone because we couldn't quite make up our minds on what to do…" My dad starts. "About one month ago I was offered a job at the very prestigious Seattle Grace Hospital in Washington State as head of general surgery. Miranda and I have been thinking about this opportunity in great detail since I was given the offer and we have decided to take it. I know this might come as a shock but we are moving to Seattle!"

Everyone goes silent for a few seconds, just taking the sudden news in. Suddenly, Maria and Giuseppe gasp and stand up to congratulate my dad.

My whole world goes quiet as I try to let the information sink in. I'm moving to Seattle, literally across the country from Mystic Falls.

Suddenly, everyone is shocked when Damon stands up abruptly and walks out of the dining room without a word. Seconds later we hear the front door slam shut.

I look at everyone around the table shocked at what we just witnessed. I then take the initiative to follow him and find out if my best friend is okay.

I walk out hesitantly onto my front porch, and see him from the back leaning on one of the beams that hold up my house. His body is against the ledge like he is having trouble keeping his balance.

"Hey…" I say quietly as I approach him slowly. He doesn't move or say anything so I walk up to him and place my hand on his upper arm softly. He quickly pulls his arm away which causes my hand to fall off of his.

He tries to turn away from me but before he can turn around, I reach out my hand again and attempt to stop him from setting himself free from my grip. As I slowly turn him around to face me, our eyes meet and I know exactly what he needs from me. Suddenly, I give him the most comforting hug I have ever given in my life. We get lost in the moment and lose track of time as we stand in the same spot of the porch for what feels like hours, just holding each other.

Finally we pull away from each other, still holding each other's arms. He looks at me with the most broken look in his eyes and it breaks my heart into one million tiny little pieces.

"You can't go…" he says in a whisper as his voice breaks.

I reach my hands up to palm his cheeks. "Trust me, I don't want to." I say in a broken voice that I tried to avoid using.

"Then stay." He says suddenly, with hope in his bright blue eyes. "Stay with me."

"Are you crazy? I can't do that!" I say quickly trying not to consider the idea because I could never even think about leaving my mom and dad. But I'm afraid that if I don't answer straight away I might actually start to consider it.

"I'm serious, why not?" he says with conviction. "My mom loves you like her own daughter! Hell, you practically are her daughter. We grew up together, Elena. How could you say no to this?"

I pause trying to look for the right words to use.

"Damon…" I say slowly. "I can't leave my mom and dad… I'm sorry." I can feel tears threatening to break through the barriers. I don't want him to see me cry.

"Do I not mean anything to you?" he asks suddenly, surprising me.

"Oh my god, Damon" I say shocked "Don't ever think that! You're my best friend; no one could ever replace you. I've told you things that I've never told anyone else!"

"Then why can't you even think about staying with me?" he asks.

"It's not that I don't want to stay with you, it's just that I can't imagine ever being away from my parents or my brother. If they are going then I have no choice, I can't stay here in Mystic Falls without them…" I trail off.

"Who am I going to joke around with and most importantly, whose diary am I going to read secretly?" He says while laughing.

I smile. I can't imagine a life without Damon either. It feels like I could never get as close to someone as I am with him.

"And what about Josh?" He says suddenly referencing a name from my diary.

What he doesn't know is that_ Josh_ was never anyone important merely a cover up.

"Damon, I don't care about Josh…" I say quickly while looking up at him with a serious look.

Suddenly, his face becomes serious as well as he looks deep into my eyes and tries to find what I'm trying to say with them. I see a quick flash of understanding cross his features, he knows. It was never Josh, it was always him.

We've been heading in the same direction for a few months now. As much as I've tried to deny it, I can't help what I've started to feel for Damon, and what I think he is starting to feel as well. Our connection is electric, whether as friends or even more, that will never change.

I bring myself back to reality as we are both look each other in the eyes trying to look for answers.

Suddenly he runs his hand though my hair and I can feel an electric pull towards him. I cannot bare the space between us anymore, clearly neither can he, because the next thing I know we are both moving towards each other. With great force our lips finally crash against one another's. My hands travel to the back of his neck as we both automatically tilt our heads, mine to the right and his to the left. His lips are the softest things I think I have ever felt in my entire life. As both of our eyes are closed, I can't see what he is thinking but I can sense it in the way his lips move with mine. They fit so perfectly together, it's unbelievable. I never want this feeling to end.

Suddenly, he moves his body closer to mine as our kiss becomes more assertive and fluent. The world washes away as I forget that there is anybody else but me and Damon in the universe. I have to remind myself to breathe, as I begin to lose my breath. Damon's hands move across my back and my knees start to buckle as he lights up every nerve in my body.

All of a sudden our moment is ruined when the door opens and we pull apart as quickly as we can. As we both turn to the door, still holding each other, we see Jeremy and Stefan standing at the door with shocked faces, our parents trailing behind them.

We both turn back to one another and quickly realize that we are still holding each other and let go while only stepping back one step, trying to make sure we are not too distanced.

Suddenly, I hear a chuckling noise. I look up to find who the culprit is and surprisingly it's my dad.

"What are you laughing at?" I ask with a harsh tone.

"I just... knew this was going to happen one day, I didn't think it would be tonight though, I wasn't quite prepared" He says smiling.

"Well don't worry" I start suddenly, "It won't be happening again thanks to you." I say roughly before I push past them all and run up the stairs towards my bedroom, tears beginning to fall down my face.

As soon as I crash down onto my bed, I start crying hysterically, not being able to control myself. I don't want to leave. I can leave after what just happened with Damon, but I have to.

Not long after I feel a dip in my bed and a hand on my shoulder. Still crying, I turn around to see who it is. My dad looks back at me with a concerned and loving look on his face.

"Honey…" he starts "I'm so sorry that this move is affecting you so much, I truly am. I care so so much about your happiness and I really don't want this to affect our relationship."

"Daddy, I just wish you told me and Jeremy before you broke the news out to everyone!" I say in a loud voice. "I guess I just wish I could have been prepared when Damon found out. I wish I could have told him myself." I think aloud.

"I know sweetie, and I'm so sorry that we rushed it! Me and your mom just got excited and we couldn't control ourselves from telling everyone, it just seemed like the perfect time."

"It's okay I guess, I just don't know where Damon and I stand anymore…" I trail off.

"I'm sure you two will figure it out before we leave. We will make sure to catch up with the Salvatore's every single chance we get once we move, I promise." my dad says as he pulls me in for a hug.

I am at a loss for words. How can I actually be leaving Damon? My best friend. There is no way I can do this I say to myself as I play with the pendant hanging from my neck, reminding me of what I will be leaving behind.

* * *

><p><strong>~1 month later~<strong>

As I lie in my bed and stare up at the celling, I try to forget that today is the day that my whole life will change. It's Moving Day. For the last month, I have tried to ignore the fact that this day was coming and now that it is finally here there is no way I am remotely prepared.

Mine and Damon's relationship hasn't been the same since the night that the move was revealed. We haven't spoken once about the kiss and the few times that our parents made us see each other we completely forgot about everything and went back to the friendship that we have always had, completely ignoring the fact that it may have advanced into something else if I was actually staying.

I can't bring myself to get out of bed and face the real world knowing that today will be a day of lasts. The last time I will live in the same town as Damon, the last time I will ever sleep in this room, the last time I will see my house, and the list goes on.

About half an hour passes while I continue to ignore this day to the best of my abilities. But it's becoming harder to pretend like it's not happening. I hear people moving furniture downstairs into the truck that is clearly out the front of my house. When I look around my room all there is to see are the many boxes that contain my entire life.

All of a sudden my mom rushes into my room and notices that I am still lying awake in bed.

"Elena! You're still in bed? We're leaving in only a few hours! You need to get up and help move all of your boxes into the trucks. Good thing your room is almost done." she says while rushing around the room trying to organise which boxes need to go in which moving truck. It is a long way from Mystic Falls to Seattle so we won't see our furniture or boxes for a few days, maybe even a week. I start to get ready to leave, trying not to remember that there is someone that I will have to say goodbye to today.

* * *

><p>This is it. This is the moment that I say goodbye to my second family. I don't know how I am going to deal with them not being around, how am I going to get through this? I ask myself as I hug Stefan and Giuseppe.<p>

We are all outside my childhood home, standing on the lawn, wishing that this isn't the last time we will ever live here and get to reminisce about all of the amazing childhood memories I have with my second family and especially my best friend.

Once I get to Maria, I almost breakdown when I look at her and see tears in her eyes. Maria has literally been a second mother to me over the years and I have been her only daughter seeing as she has two boys.

"I'll miss you so, so, _so_ much sweetie." she says as she begins to cry after releasing me from our long hug.

"I'll miss you too, Maria" I say as I start to tear up as well. Once me and Maria are finished with our goodbyes, my parents begin to say goodbye to their best friends as I make my way over to Damon, who is standing alone looking at the grass under his feet.

I start to fiddle with the necklace that was given to me by Damon on my 13th Birthday as I make my way over to him. It is the most beautiful piece of jewellery I have ever seen and ever since he gave it to me, I haven't taken it off.

As soon as I reach him there is nothing that we can say to each other that will make this moment okay, so we hug. We hug for what feels like hours, which in reality was probably only about five minutes. Not wanting to let each other go, he continues stroking the hair on the back of my head as we embrace each other in complete silence.

Suddenly, Damon speaks. "Please…stay with me" he says in the same broken whisper I heard on the night I found out that I was moving.

"I wish I could, Damon…" I say as tears begin to stream down my face.

He slowly pulls away from our embrace and looks at me with his bright blue eyes which I can see are begging for me to stay here in Mystic Falls with him.

Suddenly, he starts to move in closer to my lips, obviously looking for a goodbye kiss. Without realizing it, I turn away and begin to look at him with fury in my eyes.

"How could you do that to me right before I leave?" I ask, as I raise my voice. He looks at me shocked as I react in a way that he clearly wasn't expecting.

How can he expect that I can kiss him when I am this close to leaving? I can't kiss him and then just magically get into the car with my parents and leave my childhood home. If I kiss him then there is no leaving him.

"How could you leave me like this!" he asks with the most crushed and shattered look on his beautifully sculpted face. His jaw quivers and his lips are perched as he stares at me.

"ME!? This isn't my choice! I didn't decide to move my entire family all the way to Seattle" I begin to raise my voice.

"Well you chose to go!" Damon retaliates.

"Damon, what am I supposed to do? Leave my family behind because you ask me to." I sigh with utter despair.

"I'm your family too!" he practically screams. I notice that we are right back where we started. I can't go through this anymore, I think as I begin to feel myself braking down inside.

"I just… I can't" I whisper as the emotions become too overwhelming and I step away from him and begin running towards the car that will take me away from everything I have ever known.

As I run I rip the necklace from my neck so that I am not crippled every time I see it in the mirror. It's the reminder of everything I am leaving behind. As it falls into the grass I remind myself not to look back because I know I will disintegrate.

I quickly make my way to the car. Staring at my reflection in the car window I see my bare neck and start to silently cry. I curl myself into a ball on the backseat of the quiet car. I know that after today, I will never see Damon Salvatore again. I grew up with this person and I know that my life is never going to be the same after today.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thankyou all SO SO much for reading the first chapter of Wondering Hearts! This is literally the first fanfic i have ever written and it would mean the world to me if you could review and let me know what you think! Just leave a comment telling me what you would like to see happen in future chapters.**

**Firstly, i would like to thank Jocey (elenasempathy) so so so much because she gave me the confidence to even think about writing a fanfic! I have always had ideas for Damon & Elena storys that i would love to read, but i have never had any confidence to actually think that it could be me writing it! She really helped me believe in myself and she is my twinflame and i love her too the moon and back xoxox**

**I would also like to thank Ellie for reading the story over and giving me feels to write more and more of the chapter!**

**Last but definetly not least, i would like to thank my beta, Anna (iwantyoudamon). Anna is literally the most paitient friend ever because with the amount of questions i have been asking her about the story and the chapter itself, i was even starting to get annoyed with myself! So, anyway thankyou soooo so much Anna for sticking by me and the chapter and making it perfect! ILY! xo**

**Anyway, i really really hope you enjoyed the first chapter and that you are looking forward to the rest of the story! All i can say is that it's going to get steamy and intense! Follow/Fav to make sure you don't miss a chapter! xoxo**

**BTW if you have any questions that you want answered message my tumblr: damonspain**

**P.S - the song lyrics at the top of the story is from my favorite song called Wanna Be Sure by Aidan Hawken**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - WOW! I am so so so happy with the response that this story got from everyone who read it! 16 reviews is pretty amazing fro my first ever story & chapter! It means a lot that you all took time to review and say those really nice and ecouraging things! When you guys review it makes me want to update faster, so thankyou! :) ****Thanks, also to everybody who followed & favorited the story so that you can all recieve notifications on when i update! **

**BTW i am so so so sorry that it took me so long to update this time! I just started my senior year so i've been trying to get used to the amount of work that i have to do and also mixing it with trying to write this chapter was a little bit hard but I FINALLY GOT THERE IN THE END! Chapter updates will definetly NOT take a month everytime, i will 100% try and make the updates quicker then that!**

**Anywayy! Lets get into the story! Hope you enjoy this chapter - Damon and Elena reunite...**

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><p>Back in the day<br>When I was younger  
>I was so lost and proud.<br>I've gained the world  
>But it will never<br>Compare to what i've earned

In the quiet moment  
>When the earth holds still<p>

I'm coming home  
>To breathe again<br>To start again

It has been just over a month since the night that reminded me of the one and only Damon Salvatore. I like to think that I had forgotten about him completely, but really, whether I like to admit it or not, I know deep down that he will always be in the back of my mind.**  
><strong>

In the odd moments that I did think of him, I would always ask myself questions like 'I wonder what he's doing at this very moment?'

He has been all I can think about lately and it's all because of this stupid necklace that holds so many memories of the childhood I tried so hard to cover up and forget.

As I sit on my bed with my class books in my lap, I look over to my right bedside table and see the silver pendant just sitting there; staring back at me like it wants me to do something.

I haven't stopped looking at the pendant since I found it in my suitcase and each time I look at it I feel something different. I feel things like, regret, confusion, curiosity and uncertainty.

I still haven't confronted my parents on why they put the necklace into my luggage, or even how they had the necklace in the first place. I know that they have seen the Salvatore's since we left three years ago, maybe Maria and Giuseppe gave them the necklace the last time they went to visit Mystic Falls?

Whenever my parents went to visit my childhood hometown, they insisted that I come with them, but every time I couldn't bring myself to go, I just stayed at home alone. They always stayed at the Salvatore's house because it is literally like a mansion. It used to be a boarding house in the 1950's until Maria and Giuseppe made it into their home when Damon was born.

Still looking at the necklace, I sigh, close my eyes and lean back on my pillows that rest on the head of my bed. After a few minutes, I open my eyes and look over at the necklace still sitting on the table next to me.

Not being able to resist anymore, I reach my hand out and lace my hands through the chain as I bring the pendant closer to my chest. I sit up on my bed as I look at the object that signifies such an important part of my past and think about what would have happened if I didn't leave Mystic Falls three years ago. Where would I be at this very moment? Where would Damon be? What would we be…?

Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to put the necklace on again for the first time in three years. I stand up slowly and make my way to the full length mirror placed in the right corner of the dorm room.

When I reach the mirror I see the silver necklace glistening under the lights in my hands. I slowly unclasp the chain and reach my hands to my neck. I clip the necklace in place and drop my hands to the sides of my body.

As soon as I look at my reflection in the mirror, an overwhelming amount of emotion serges through my body. Seeing myself in the mirror, with the pendant sitting on my chest perfectly after all of this time, brings back many memories of my childhood, especially ones with Damon attached to them. All of a sudden, tears begin to fall down my face as I realise how much I actually miss my old best friend.

Suddenly, the dorm room door flew open and in came Bonnie. I quickly turned around from facing the door, trying to hide the fact that I was crying from her, but she quickly depicted what was happening and made her way over too me quickly.

"Oh my God Sweetie! What's wrong?" she says before she wraps her arms around me in a tight and comforting hug. We stay like this for a few minutes while I silently cry on her shoulder. Before we are finished hugging Caroline walks in and quickly makes her way over to join our hug. I really do have the best friends ever, they would drop anything to help me in my hour of need, which I am so very grateful for.

Once I finish crying I begin to break the embrace between the two best friends anyone could ever ask for and we silently walk over to my bed and all sit down.

"So want to explain what that was all about?" Caroline asks once we are all comfortable.

"I don't know…it was nothing" I say trailing off in a whisper.

"That was definitely not nothing! Tell us what's wrong." Bonnie adds.

"I love you guys so much but I really just don't want to talk about it right now, I need to go to the library to study for that test we have on Monday." I say trying to avoid their question.

I quickly pick up all of my books, put my coat on and before I leave the dorm without another word, I rip off the necklace that caused my pain and put it back on the bedside table. I leave the pendent there as I walk out of the room, leaving the memories it holds with it. While I leave I hear both Bonnie and Caroline whisper in understanding about the cause of my crying.

As I make my way to the library I try to forget everything that just happened, I try to forget Damon, again.

* * *

><p>After about four hours at the library I begin to pack up my books quietly. The upside to my freak out at the dorm room earlier was that I actually got some homework done rather than focusing on the pendent sitting on my bedside table.<p>

I begin to make my way out of the campus library when something catches my eye. I see raven black hair out of the corner of my eye and quickly take a second look at the spot that I saw the quick flash. Suddenly I realise that it is just my eyes playing tricks on me and looking back at the boy that caught my eye, he looks nothing like the person that I really want to see.

My eyes almost tear up as I realize how much I really wanted that person to be Damon. Within the last few days my want to see Damon again has been overwhelming. As much as I haven't admitted it in the last three years, I have missed Damon more than I can say. I never wanted to deal with it over the last few years because it always brought up too many memories. Lately, nearly every time I close my eyes, I see his piercing blue eyes…or what I can remember of them.

As I stop day dreaming I realize that I am nearly back at my dorm room. Before I enter, I think about the fact that I need to get rid of the necklace sitting in my room and try to forget Damon properly; all it's doing is ripping me apart. I begin to put him in the back of my mind, which I have tried to do countless times before.

Once I've collected myself I open the door and am confronted by Bonnie and Caroline looking at me, dressed in formal, beautiful, long dresses with a formal makeup on and their hair beautifully curled. In between the both of them, they are holding a deep red dress that is tight at the top with a sweet heart strapless neck line and flares out just below knee level, It is so beautiful.

I gasp before Caroline starts squealing and runs up to me for a hug.

"You guys! What is this all about!?" I ask loudly with a huge smile on my face as Caroline releases her embrace on me.

"You've been so distracted lately and you were so sad earlier, so we've decided it's time we have a little fun!" Bonnie says.

"It's the NYU masquerade homecoming ball tonight, remember? I know we said we weren't going to go but I have always secretly wanted to go. You know how I love dances!" Caroline adds. She has always been the one to organise the dances, so I'm sure it's hard for her seeing someone else do it, it's never going to be up to her standards.

"Alright, well let's get ready then!" I say as I take the dress out of her hands and make my way over to my bed to put my books down. As soon as I turn around I see something glisten in the light out of the corner of my eye. There it is, my necklace. This is the point where I need to make a decision. Am I going to completely forget about Damon and the Necklace or am I going to embrace my past and try and move on and become a stronger person? The second option would be preferred, but how am I supposed to move on so quickly?

Then it comes to me, I need to find out why this very memorable pendant was put into my suitcase in the first place. I need to call mom and dad.

As I make my way to the bathroom, I grab my phone out of my bag and begin to call them once I've entered the secure space.

After a few rings I hear a female voice pick up the phone which I immediately recognise as my mom.

"Hey mom, it's Elena…" I say quietly.

"Oh Elena, I've been waiting for a call from you honey!" She says with an emotional voice. "Your Dad and I have missed you more then you will ever know!"

"Awhhh mom!" I say, missing them properly for the first time since I arrived at college.

"How are you sweetie? How has your first month at NYU gone? And how come you called me on a Saturday night? You should be out having fun, living up the college experience!" She says reminiscing about her days in college. She was a part of a Greek sorority, so she has a lot of sisterhood memories from college. She went to Whitmore College near Mystic Falls. She wanted me to go there, because of the generational significance but I could bear to go anywhere near Mystic Falls again, too close to all of my hidden memories. Everything worked out perfectly anyway though, I have amazing friends and I'm at my dream college.

"You're right; I should be enjoying my Saturday night, which brings me back to why I called." I say, trying to think of a way to bring up the reason I called.

"Sure, what was the reason cupcake?" She says in a loving tone.

"Well…" I start. "When I was unpacking my suitcase, I found something…" I trail off.

She makes a slight coughing noise, and I know that she knows what I'm talking about.

"Maybe you should talk to your Dad about that honey, I'll give him the phone" She says before I hear my mom calling my Dad and talking to him quietly telling him that it's me on the phone.

"Oh sweetie, we've been waiting for your call!" He says, sounding happy to hear from me after the longest time we've gone without talking to each other.

"I've missed you guys so much." I say sadly.

"Trust me, we have too! It's been so quiet without you around. It's weird that we only have three people at the dinner table now. I can tell that Jeremy misses you as well." He says.

"I miss him too." I say getting distracted. "Anyway, there was a reason that I called on a Saturday night, and I should probably hurry because I'm going to a party in about an hour and I still haven't started getting ready." I say realizing that I am taking too long to get to the point.

"Okay sure, what's up sweetheart?" he questions.

"Well, when I was unpacking my suitcase I found…" I trail off before I say what I am trying to get out. "…the necklace."

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call me about that." he says, confirming that he was the one that put it in there.

"Why did you put it there...? And how did you even find it?" I ask reminiscing back on the day I ripped it off my neck and watched it fall into the grass in the front yard of my childhood home.

"Well, on our last trip to Mystic Falls, right before you left for NYU, Maria found it stashed in a box in Damon's room after he had left for college and decided to give it to us, just in case you wanted it back…" He says, trailing off.

Damon went to college. This is what shocks me most out of that sentence. Damon was always so sure that he didn't want to go to college and wanted to work at his dads business. I always tried to convince him that it was always good to have a second option and I can't believe he actually did end up going, seemingly taking my advice.

I am overwhelmed with pride when my dad coughs and brings me back to the conversation.

"Um.. ahhh." I say, trying to think of what to say. "Okay… but why did you put it in my suitcase?" I ask.

"I just thought you were old enough now to know for yourself what you wanted to do with it." He says. This is why I love my dad, he treats me like a grown up and treats me like I am old enough to know what I want, which I know that I am.

"Thank you Dad, I love you." I say, figuring out in that moment that I can move on with my life, because I am old enough to strive for what I want.

But do I want to forget about him? Do I want to wipe away my whole childhood? Will wearing the necklace again make me think of him, making me long for my best friend? Or will it help me to accept how everything has turned out since the day that I left Mystic Falls.

"I love you too, sweet pea! Never forget that. Mom says she loves you too." he says.

"Thanks Daddy, I'll call you both the next time I get a chance." I say before we say our goodbyes and I put down the phone and start to get into my amazing dress that Caroline and Bonnie bought me.

As soon as my dress is on, I walk out into out dorm room and see Bonnie and Caroline look up from their phones before they gasp and stand up slowly.

" Oh. My. GOD." Caroline says suddenly.

"You look absolutely stunning." Bonnie says smiling before they both hurry me over to the bathroom again to start doing my hair and makeup.

About one hour later we are all ready to go when I go to my bedside table, pick up my mask and clutch with my phone, lip gloss and money in it. But before I leave the room, I think about putting the pendant on for the night. It can't hurt can it? If I wear it for one night? It's not like anyone else but me, is going to know the significance of the chain hanging around my neck.

I quickly grab the necklace and put it on. I adjust where it sits on my upper chest, watching my reflection in the mirror in front of me.

"Ready to go?" Bonnie asks, with Caroline already out the door of the dorm room waiting for me.

"As ready as I'll ever be!" I reply smiling at her before I slip my mask on so that I am ready to go.

* * *

><p>Once we arrive at the masquerade party we all gasp in unison as we take in the beautiful mansion staring back at as. Once we enter the amazing building we make our way to the ball room and notice that every single person is wearing a mask. This might be the perfect opportunity to meet someone; everyone's identities are hidden so there's no way of getting hurt.<p>

We start to make our way to the bar that is placed on the left side of the ballroom. Once we have our drinks we make our way to an empty table and talk about what our 'game plan' is for the evening.

"I really love this whole mask thing, it's very mysterious." Caroline says, practically growling at the many boys she sees around the room.

Both Bonnie and I start laughing at her typical reaction to this many boys in one room.

"Seriously, just you wait until I find some really hot boys here tonight that we can just pounce." She says while smiling widely.

"Care, I think you're the only one that's going to be getting lucky tonight, me and Elena will probably just sit here, as usual." Bonnie says.

"No! You guys could both find someone so easily if you just tried." Caroline says in a frustrated tone.

"Okay let's make a deal…" I start. "How about you leave me and bonnie alone to try and find someone and if we don't, at the next party you have full control over who we ask out" I say, hoping she doesn't remember that I made this deal by the time we go too our next party.

"Ohhhh good idea Elena!" She says while smiling, "Finally you're thinking like a freshman in college, we have to make these years last!" She says before she hugs both myself and Bonnie.

"Okay, so we will meet back here in one hour okay?" Caroline states cheerfully before she makes her way to another room of the party.

Both Bonnie and I separate and make our way around the room trying to find boys so that Caroline won't have the opportunity to find someone for us at the next party. I would really like to find a boy on my own, not from Caroline.

I've always believed in fate. If you and somebody else are meant to be, then just let it happen naturally. I can't wait to find someone that I will never want to leave again, that I will fight to stay with me and that will protect and love me no matter what happens.

There's only one problem. I actually need to _find_ this dream boy! Does he even exist?

I don't know about that.

I've always had trust issues and I don't know why. Nothing has actually ever happened to me that would cause me to have problems with trust boys, except for what happen with Damon three years ago. As I think about this again I touch the necklace that I remember putting on prior to leaving the dorm room and let out a slight smile.

I've only ever kissed boys; I haven't gone past that point. I'm saving my virginity for my 'dream guy', the person that I can laugh and cry with, without it being a problem. That used to be Damon but that's not going to happen.

After about half an hour of just sitting at a table by myself with my first cocktail, I spot a boy looking over at me from the opposite side of the room and before I know it, he is making his way over to where I am sitting. Quickly I straighten out my dress and make sure my hair is still in place. Before he reaches me I take in all of his features. He is quite good looking, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

"Hi, I'm Liam" he says while smiling.

"Hi Liam, I'm Elena I say" smiling back at him.

"Elena… how is a pretty girl like you still alone at this party" He asks.

"I guess I just haven't found anyone that caught my eye…" I say, a little bit uncomfortable at his comment.

"Have I caught your eye?" he says in a cocky manner… not the good kind of cocky though.

The only person that I have ever seen pull off the cocky act was… Damon. Thinking about him again I realize how much I want to be talking to Damon instead of… what was his name again? Oh yeah, Liam…

I almost chuckle at the fact that I have already forgotten his name, I don't know if this guy is going to be the 'dream guy' that I'm looking for.

"Ahh, from what I can see through the mask..." I reply back. Before he can keep the conversation going and it getting uncomfortable I ask for his number.

The thing is, this guy would probably be completely fine for most girls, but for me… there's something missing.

He finds a napkin on the table that I was previously sitting at behind me and writes down his phone number with a pen that he pulled out of his jacket pocket.

"There you go Elena, give me a call…" he says slowly before he turns around and walks away.

As soon as he walks away I look at my watch and realize that it has almost been one hour since Me, Caroline and Bonnie dispersed.

I grab my clutch sitting on the table behind me, slid Liam's number into the bag and make my way to the spot that I will be meeting my best friends.

I am so happy that I actually found someone, so that I can show Caroline that I can look for someone on my own, when I want to. I probably won't actually end up calling Liam, but it's good to have his number just to show Caroline and in case I ever decide that I would like to call him.

Once I reach the place where I left my best friends one short hour ago, I find that Caroline is already sitting at the table, with Bonnie not yet being seen.

Once she spots me I look over to her and smile, opening my clutch and bringing out the white napkin with Liam's name and member on it. Before I reach her I start waving it around while giving her the condescending smile that she deserves for doubting me.

"Elena!" She almost squeals "I knew you would find someone if you actually tried" She says excitedly.

"Well, I was actually just sitting down and waiting for the time to be over and somebody walked up to me". I say smiling, actually proud that someone came to me instead of the other way around.

"That's because you're hot!" She starts "especially in that dress babe, seriously never take that thing off; I am a pretty amazing shopper, if I do say." She giggles, in her usual Caroline manner.

"So, give me the details! Was this guy hot?" Caroline asks, genuinely excited for me.

Suddenly, an announcement starts on the stage at the front of the room and the head master of NYU stands up to greet all of the people that attended.

"This masquerade party has been an annual event ever since this fantastic college started many years ago" He says. "This magical night has been for freshmen and other years of the school to mix with other people that may not usually associate with. So I hope that you have all taken the opportunity and met people that you wouldn't have met if it wasn't for tonight."

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder; I turn around to see Bonnie standing behind me. Caroline quickly notices her presence and Bonnie holds up a napkin with a name and number on it, smiling widely at Caroline, just like me.

Finally, the headmaster stops talking and Caroline is quick to hug Bonnie and ask her all about the mystery guy that she found.

Suddenly, my eye catches something, or rather someone.

Damon.

The world quickly washes away and the colour drains from my face as I continue to stare. Is it really him?

The person in front of me that was blocking my view finally moves and I can see what I've been waiting to see for three years. Suddenly he looks in my direction and our eyes meet. It's like an electric current through the air. Everything in my life both comes together and falls apart at the same time.

Slowly he takes off his mask and looks at me again.

It is him. I can see his bright blue eyes all the way from where I'm standing.

Suddenly, I panic and turn to Caroline and Bonnie for guidance. "I think I'm going to be sick", I say suddenly returning to their conversation, in which they are still talking about the boy that Bonnie met previously.

Before they can answer, I look back at Damon and he nudges two people behind him that I assume are friends of his.

He runs his hand through his dark raven hair before he starts slowly making his way over to me. I almost start backing away but something stops me.

As he inches closer, I can see his face clearer. He still looks as devilishly handsome as he was when he was sixteen; maybe a little bit strong and taller then I remember.

Before I know it he has almost reached me and the electricity between us grows stronger.

"Elena…?" he asks in a broken and reminiscent voice.

I can't control my breathing now and before I can say anything and without thinking, I start for the door and flee the mansion that holds the one person that I have been trying to rid myself for three long years of pain and regret.

* * *

><p><strong>AN - There it is, hope you enjoyed this chapter! - let me know what you thought by reviewing! Tell what you liked and what you would like to see happen in the future! Once again, i love you guys so much for reading this story, reviewing and following (it means a lot!)**

**Thankyou sooo much to Anna for BETAing again! LOVE YOU GAL xo**

**Also, thankyou Jocey for putting me in the right direction when i wasn't sure where i was going with the chap and also for motivating me LOVE YOUU!**

**The next chapter will definetly be up in the next few weeks... many more damon and elena scenes to come! Love you all xoxo**

**PS. the song lyrics at the top of the chapter are from Calls me Home by Shannon Labrie**

**If you would like to ask me any questions, you can message me on tumblr: damonspain**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm going to keep the authors note short but i just wanted to say that i am super sorry for how long it took me to upload this chapter! I have had no internet since mid-december and only just got it back for a little bit tonight! I've already started to write the next chapter so hopefully it will be up way sooner then this one! **

* * *

><p>Out of all of the colleges that Damon could go to, he chooses NYU. We live across the country from each other and yet here we are at the same school. How does that even happen? I ask myself as I run out of the masquerade ball as fast as possible in these heels. I quickly make my way to the side of the mansion where I lean against the cold, white, brick wall. I find myself struggling to breathe and put my hand over my heart in an attempt to steady my breathing and the beyond fast beats.<p>

I feel a tear slip down my cold cheek and land on the grass beneath me. Suddenly, I hear rustling on the ground next to me.

Damon.

"What are you doing here?" I ask harshly.

"This is my school, what do you think I'm doing here?" He returns.

He has a point. Why am I being so rude to him? I guess I just don't know how to cope with these overwhelming feelings. He doesn't deserve this from me.

"Um...wow it's weird to see you" I say quietly.

"I know... It's so good to see you" he starts, with a slight smile. "How have you been Elena?" He asks sincerely.

"Oh...good" I answer shyly, avoiding the truths of how I was left with no one after what happened on that day three years ago. "How are you, Damon?" I ask in return.

"I'm really good actually" he says, almost smiling.

"I can't believe you're here" I say, not meaning to say that out loud.

"I know, I can't believe you're here, either, how long has it been... three years wow." he says, answering his own question.

"You look so grown up Lena..." He continues. I blush but try to hide it from him to the best of my ability.

"So do you" I say, trying to steer him to look away from my blushing cheeks. "It looks like you've grown into yourself, you know?" I continue.

"Yeah, same to you" he returns.

An awkward silence fills the air, never in one million years did I ever think that tonight would be the night that I was reunited with Damon.

"I can't believe you went to college." I say, trying to fill the silence. "You were always so adamant that you weren't going to go".

"Yeah well, I guess things change" he says quietly.

"Yeah, they do..." I say awkwardly looking down.

"My necklace..." I hear suddenly.

Before I know what he's talking about I look up at him with a confused look.

He makes his way closer to me and touches the silver pendent that rests on my chest. I feel the warmth of his hands find its way onto my body and it is like I have been bought back to life. I quickly go from looking at the necklace to looking up at him so close to me. His bright blue eyes penetrate mine as we look at each other intently. Like he can sense that I'm uncomfortable, he suddenly moves away and restores distance between us.

"Oh um... Yeah, I just... I only just got it back and I thought it looked good with the dress..." I say unconvincingly.

"It does look good with the dress, it's a very beautiful dress" he says, catching me off guard. We both look down at the ground in yet another awkward silence.

Suddenly, I hear chuckling in front of me and lift my head. There stands Damon with his hand over his mouth...laughing?

I give him a confused look and he just sighs after his fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?" I ask him while smiling, it's really good to see him laughing again, I missed that.

"Just this" he starts, pointing between us. "We used to know each other fluently, there was never a silence between us and now look at us!" He says gesturing towards me.

"Well, what do you expect, Damon?" I start "We haven't seen each other in three years, that's a lot of time for people our age. We both grew up, changed, matured..." I say trailing off.

"So..." He starts suddenly "How are your parents?" He asks, completely avoiding the last comment that I made. He's acting like it was never even said, typical Damon.

"Yeah, they're really good and so is Jeremy" I start, playing along with his avoiding game. "How are your parents? I haven't seen them for so long" I say, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt.

"Yeah, they are really good actually, I know my mom really misses you though" he says, bringing up what I wish he wouldn't.

I find that my eyes get teary from thinking about Maria again.

"I didn't mean to make you cry..." Damon says when he notices my eyes tearing up at the mention of his mom, my second mom.

"I just miss her, that's all." I start, swiping away one stray tear. "I feel really guilty that I never even talked to her once... for all of those years" I continue.

"Trust me, she missed you as well but she knew that one day you would be ready to talk to her again" he says, making me feel better and reminding me of the nature of this conversation and where it could lead, they are boxes that I don't quite want to open yet.

"It's your birthday this week!" I say changing the topic of our conversation as smoothly as possible.

"You remembered?" He says while smirking. There it is, his signature cocky smirk, I never thought I would miss it, every time he did it when we were younger I would get so annoyed, even though he looked devilishly sexy doing it.

But I did miss it. I missed it a whole lot.

"Of course I remember!" I say with enthusiasm. "It's exactly one month before mine" I smile.

"I know" he says quickly while smiling.

"I'm having a kind of party get together next week with a few of my friends, if you want to come...? You can bring your friends as well, if you like." He says hesitantly.

"Of course" I start "We would love to Damon." I say while smiling.

"Elena! There you are!" I hear suddenly as both Caroline and Bonnie appear from around the corner to see both me and Damon standing on the grass on the side of the huge mansion. Of course they are here right on cue, right when we were talking about them. Caroline has always had the best timing.

"Hey guys, this is Damon" I say, introducing them to my childhood best friend. "And Damon, this is Caroline and Bonnie, my best friends" I say. I notice Damon dropping his head for one second before recovering very quickly and smiling at both myself, Caroline and Bonnie. He extends his hand towards them and shakes theirs softly.

Suddenly, after she is finished saying hello to Damon, Caroline takes my arm quickly and pulls me close to her. "Is that the actual Damon!? Like Damon Damon?!" She whispers to me in typical Caroline fashion.

"Yes, Caroline. It's the actual and only Damon I know." I whisper in return. We both look over to Damon and Bonnie who are looking at both of us in silence. Caroline is anything if not subtle and there is no doubt in my mind that they would have heard her 'whispers', if you could even call them whispers.

"Alright, I'm sorry but we are going to have to take Elena now, it's getting pretty late!" Caroline says suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Oh... Um sure, that's fine" Damon says while clearing his throat. "Let me know about Thursday Elena." He continued.

"Sure, it was good to see you Damon, bye" I say smiling.

"Bye Lena, it was great seeing you again too." He says, smirking back.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god! What just happened?" Caroline asks loudly as soon as we enter our dorm room. "I can't believe it, out of every college in America; Damon decides to go to the same one as you. You two really are soul mates." Caroline says smiling.<p>

"We are not Caroline, I literally can't even believe you" I say, while laughing at her comment.

"Tell me, in what way aren't you soul mates?" Caroline asks, giving me a daring look.

"There are so many reasons why! Are you kidding?" I ask.

"Let's make a list then shall we" Caroline clears her throat before saying her piece. "First of all, the fact that you have been best friends since you were little. Second, the way that he looks at you and talks to you."

"How can you tell by seeing Damon and I interacting for only like 30 seconds?" I query after her second point.

"Because I just can! You know me, Elena. I have superpowers with this kind of thing!" Caroline says and I scoff.

"And third…" she starts, finishing of her list "the fact that you live across the country from each other and you end up at the same university with no persuasion. Sounds like soul mates to me Elena." Caroline says smirking. "You're lucky, I wish I had someone like that!" She finishes.

"It's really not like that anymore Caroline, I honestly just want to be friends with him now, I just want my childhood best friend back" I say. It's true though, I just want him back as a friend before anything else happens, and I'm definitely not ready for that yet. I don't see him in that way anymore. I had to stop thinking about him in that way for me to get over him when I was sixteen.

I have always tried to ignore the fact that Damon is pretty much my dream guy, I think I made my guy check list based on him. He's the kind of guy anyone would want to end up with. "I mean, it may have been heading in that direction years ago, but now it's different. We are pretty much strangers right now. I don't know him anymore, we both grew up, I just want to be friends with him again." I say, even surprizing myself with my revelation.

"I don't believe that you guys have grown apart! Okay, I do believe that you don't want anything more than a friendship at this point, only because I know how long it took for you to get over him, but I'm sure that will change eventually because he's hotter then you described! How could you have not told me that he was practically a god sent from the heavens?" Caroline says, not even thinking about what she is saying once again.

"Oh my god Caroline, this is why you're my best friend" I say while laughing. I bring her in for a hug and we both turn our heads when we hear a click of the door and Bonnie enters with our food for the night. When we got back to the dorm we all realised that none of us actually ate at the party so we were starving when we got home. I love having girls nights, just a night in with my best friends and really nice food, can it get any better?

We all sit down on the floor, leaning against out beds and talking about anything and everything, at this moment I am loving life, everything is pretty perfect. I reunited with Damon after three long years and we talked which has given me hope that we could get our friendship back soon. Also, my best friends are the best anyone could ever have and I'm starting to feel truly happy again!

Finally.

As all three of us are polishing off our take away Chinese food, we stay seated on the floor against our beds. Our topic of conversation eventually makes its way back to Damon, of course.

"So Elena, what's happening on Thursday night?" Bonnie starts with a seductive look on her face.

"Don't start Bonnie" I say while laughing "I think Caroline is rubbing off on you" I continue and all of us laugh.

"No but seriously Elena, what is actually happening" she asks again.

"It's just Damon's birthday party, he invited all of us on Thursday." I say quietly.

"Oh my god, he so likes you" Caroline chimes in smirking.

"No, he does not!" I say half smiling. "He can't like me, we only just saw each other again after three whole years and once again, I don't want anything more than friendship right now." I say

"Who cares, his feelings are still there... I can totally see it." Bonnie adds smirking.

"And, can we just talk about the nickname he gave you at the end of your conversation with you, Lena…" Caroline says with a swooned smile on her face.

"It's what he used to call me when we were younger…" I say, thinking aloud.

"Exactly! You're destined for each other!" Caroline adds, snapping me back into reality. "I'm going to use that nickname from now on by the way."

"You guys" I start "are hilarious and have no idea what you're talking about" I continue while I get up off the floor and pick up the empty take away containers to put into the trash. "Let's just go to the party on Thursday and maybe I can talk to him about everything" I add "I know I'm not ready to be anything more than friends and I don't think he is going to want it either."

"Who wouldn't want a relationship with you Elena, you're seriously one of the hottest and most genuine people I know" Caroline starts "I have the hottest two best friends, I love you guys" she ends before she pulls us both in for a hug.

"We love you too, Care" both myself and Bonnie say.

"Alright, I don't know about you guys but I am super tired and can hardly keep my eyes open anymore" Bonnie says before getting ready to go to bed.

Both me and Caroline follow and eventually make our way into the warm sheets of our beds and go to sleep. This has been an intense day and we are all extremely tired. Especially me.

* * *

><p>"Where is my hair curler?" Caroline almost yells out of the bathroom.<p>

"Sorry, I'm using it" Bonnie replies back with a guilty look on her face.

I start laughing as Caroline comes out of the bathroom with her towel around her body with an annoyed look on her face. "Bon, you know how my hair looks if I don't curl it! The word I would use is..._disgusting!"_ Caroline says, clearly annoyed.

It's Thursday night and we are going out to Damon's birthday party. We are already an hour late, which I'm sure won't make much of a difference but we are all rushing anyway. Caroline is under the impression that it is her night to find a boy.

"You saw Damon, he's hot - which means his friends are most likely hot and you girls knows what that means!" Caroline says while smiling.

After about ten minutes of Caroline complaining about not having enough time to get ready, Bonnie gives her the curler when she had finished with her own hair.

"There you go princess" Bonnie says towards Caroline giving her a side smirk.

I start laughing as Caroline storms back into the bathroom and continues getting ready.

I sit down on my bed and start playing with the bracelet that sits on my wrist shining against the light as I think about what tonight means for mine and Damon's relationship developing into friends or even possibly more, which scares me. So much.

"Hey, what's wrong" I hear suddenly. When I look up Bonnie is walking slowly towards me with a concerned look on her face as she watches me slouching with a sad face that looks like I'm holding back tears, which I am and trying to hide.

"Oh, um… nothing" I say quickly trying to avoid the subject that has been on my mind for the whole week leading up to the party. "I'm just… scared" I say quietly, hoping that Bonnie will understand.

"What are you scared about?" Bonnie asks compassionately.

"Urgh, I don't even know!" I say in a frustrated voice, "I'm just so nervous about seeing him again because I don't know where we stand and it's making me really stressed and snappy and I just don't know how to act around him" I say in a rambling voice while breathing heavily. "I mean, what if he doesn't like who I am anymore!?" I ask in a high pitched and stressed out tone.

"Awhh, Elena you are seriously the cutest" Bonnie starts while smiling, "You don't even know how amazing you are, how could he not like who you are? And if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve to be your friend anymore anyway! You have so many friends that care about you and you do know that you can always talk to me and Caroline if you're ever feeling like this again, right?" She says.

I nod while giving her a smile, showing her that she is making me feel better by the second.

"There's nothing to be scared about Elena!" Bonnie says confidently, "I'm sure both you and Damon want to work out where you stand with each other and talk in more detail about what happened to your relationship three years ago" Bonnie continues. "What has gotten into you these past few weeks? You usually look fear straight into the eye and conquer it!" Bonnie asks in confusion.

"I know!" I say exasperated "I'm not usually like this, I have no idea what has gotten into me… I think it's just Damon; he has just messed with my head a little bit since I saw that necklace in my suitcase" I say.

"I can totally see where you're coming from Elena, you have the right to be a little freaked out and scared but make sure you don't let it control you like it's doing right now!" she says passionately.

"You're so right, Bon, Thankyou." I say back with a smile on my face. I can't keep letting Damon and this necklace control my feelings so much, I need to be true to myself and go with my gut on what to do when it comes to Damon. I mean, who knows where he stands? He may want the exact same things that I do.

Finally, Caroline is finished in the bathroom and walks out to see myself and Bonnie hugging after our heartfelt chat.

"What are you two all smiley about?" Caroline asks.

"Bonnie just helped me resolve some feelings that I've been having about this whole Damon thing that have been crippling my ability to be myself." I say, realizing how corny that sounds when I say it out loud.

"Well good, I'm glad you're back to your old self because this new, gloomy Elena was starting to scare me" Caroline returns. We all start laughing before realizing that it is well and truly time to go.

* * *

><p>"Oh wow, look at this place!" Caroline says as soon as she enters the extremely modern restaurant and bar that Damon is holding his birthday party at.<p>

As soon as we walk in I notice how many people are here for Damon's party. I was under the impression that this was a small-ish get together with a few of his friends from NYU, but this place is totally packed with people in the area that Damon has obviously rented out for the evening.

"He must be rich as well as hot if he can afford to rent part of a place like this in New York" Caroline starts "God, you have mighty good taste Elena and you don't even take advantage of it" Caroline says, obviously joking around to try and rile me up.

"Oh my god, Caroline!" I start "You're literally crazy" I say before chuckling and grabbing both of their arms so that we can make our way further into the party.

We reach the place where it appears that the back space of the Bar has been rented for Damon's party. Suddenly, my eyes land on Damon who is talking to a few of his friends on the left side off the bar that seems to be non-alcoholic since we are only 19 years old.

All of a sudden, our eyes lock and he finishes his conversation with his friend and makes his way towards me.

"Hey! I'm so glad you guys could all make it" he starts "for a second there, I thought you weren't coming!" He says.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Caroline just takes so long to get ready" I say while laughing. Bonnie and Damon laugh as well before I hear a scoff from Caroline trying to deny it.

"It's all good, at least you all got here" He says in return. Suddenly, a light brown haired skinny girl comes up behind Damon and grabs his face before she kisses his cheek.

It happens so suddenly that I can't comprehend what is happening. When my thoughts finally catch up to me I realize, Damon must have a girlfriend.

As soon as I see her smiling at him afterwards I become insanely jealous of her. I have no right to be, but I can't help it. I am completely lost in my racing thoughts before Damon finally pulls me out of them.

"Andy, not right now…" he says quietly to the girl standing behind him.

"Then when?" Andy asks "You've been ignoring me for the last week!" She says while pouting.

"I'll talk to you later okay?" he says, giving her a look before she reluctantly walks away.

"Sorry about that... that's just, um, Andy." He says while stuttering.

"Uh, that's okay…" I say awkwardly. "I should go now", I say before I pull a stunned Bonnie and Caroline along with me towards the bar.

Before I can get very far, I feel Damon's hand on my shoulder trying to stop me from leaving so fast.

"Elena, I think we should talk later... when you're ready" he says suddenly.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea…" I trail off "it's your birthday and all… I don't want to ruin that for you by talking." I say in return.

"You won't, I think we need to talk tonight. Sooner rather than later, right?" he says before flashing the smirk that causes me to lose my train of thought.

"Uh, okay, I guess if you really want to tonight." I say before I quickly evacuate his presence and head towards the right side of the bar with Bonnie and Caroline.

We all sit down on the stools surrounding the bar and sit in silence for a few seconds.

"Well that was awkward" Caroline starts. "Very" Bonnie adds.

They both look at me with questioning looks on their faces waiting for me to say something.

"I don't even know what just happened." I say. "I need alcohol. Now" I finish.

"Well, you're in luck, I bought a flask!" Caroline says, handing me a flask under the bar which I pour into my coke once we finish ordering them. The people behind the bar don't seem to be too uptight about people with alcohol, because even though they aren't serving it, it is very obvious that people have flasks because a lot of the guests apart of his party are acting anything but sober.

I chug down my first coke while Bonnie and Caroline also add alcohol to their drinks as well.

* * *

><p>After one flask finished, two quite drunk best friends and three stools abandoned, we all find our place on the dance floor. It has been over an hour since we arrived at the party and we are getting into the full swing of things as all three of us grind against boys that we don't know and to a song we haven't heard before.<p>

My eyes land on another pair of bright blue eyes which are across on the other side of the room. Damon is standing on the other side of the room when our eyes lock. He is giving me a look that I can't quite figure out when suddenly he is making his way over to the dance floor.

"Elena…" he starts when he reaches his destination, "Are you drunk?" He asks with a slight smirk.

"Uh, I may be?" I answer with a devilish smile "got a problem with that?"

"Well… no, not really, it's just not like you." He says.

"You don't know me anymore, maybe this is exactly like me!" I say more harshly then I intended. He looks a little taken aback by my outburst and instinctively steps backwards. "No, don't go, I'm sorry… I didn't mean that" I say suddenly. "I think we should talk…" I continue.

"Yeah… maybe we should." He says quietly in return.

I turn around to tell Caroline and Bonnie that I am going to talk to Damon when I see them each making out with boys on the dance floor. I decide to go without telling them because they look pretty busy at this point in time.

I follow Damon out of a door that leads out onto the roof of the building. Once we make our way up the stairs and out onto the roof, I breathe in the fresh air which refreshes me and I finally feel like I can breathe properly. Damon walks to the ledge with his hands securely in his jean pockets. He has always had really good fashion sense; he is wearing black skinny jeans with a black tight-ish t-shirt showing of his arms.

I trail behind him and wait for one of us to speak first; I don't want to be the first because I have no idea what to actually say.

Finally, after about two minutes he starts our dreaded conversation when he turns around and looks at me.

"So, lets actually talk." He starts "Who are you Elena?" He asks "You keep saying that you've changed and that I don't know you, so if I don't, then tell me… who are you?"

"I... I don't know who I am." I start before taking a deep breath "I'm just an eighteen year old girl who lost herself when she was sixteen and had to reinvent herself once she moved to Seattle. I couldn't be myself anymore because there was a huge part of myself that went missing." I say, and he knows who I am referring to. His eyes widen because he clearly wasn't expecting an answer like that.

"Ah, yeah… I lost myself then as well, what a coincidence." He says seriously before he laughs and makes his way closer to me. "I wish it didn't have to happen like that, I wish we could have stayed the way we were when we were sixteen. Gone to prom at the same school and graduated together… even if we were just friends." He says, addressing the fact that towards the end of our relationship we had begun to drift closer to each other.

"Uh, yeah, I would have loved for it to happen that way…" I stammer in return. "But it didn't…"

"Yeah it didn't." He returns awkwardly.

"What happened with us though, why didn't we stay in touch?" he asks suddenly, jumping straight into the intense part of this conversation.

"Well, it's a two way street, Damon. I didn't call you and you didn't call me, that's what happened."

"I know but, I just wish you would have called me…" he says.

Why should I have been the one to call him? It was just as much his responsibility as it was mine.

"The truth is, I didn't think you would want to hear from me after my outburst and when you didn't ring I got the impression that you didn't want to talk to me." I say.

"Well, I felt the exact same. But when your parents and your brother turned up at our house for their first visit back to Mystic Falls and you weren't there… I just assumed you didn't want anything to do with me. Your parents didn't even mention you on that trip."

"I know, I asked them not to." I say in return. His eyes widen at that and he turns around again and makes his way to the ledge.

"I wish none of this happened, I wish you never left and that we were still best friends… it would be so much easier." He says one minute after my last comment.

"I wish it went like that as well… but it didn't so we have to deal with that, I guess." I say in return, joining him at the ledge.

When I stand next to him he looks at me and his eyes pierce mine as he continues for the next few seconds. Instinctively, I move closer to him and our shoulders touch. His hand covers mine when I place them on the ledge and begin to breathe heavily as the air around me becomes thin.

"I… we're not like this anymore." He says suddenly pulling his hand out from on top of mine. I realise at this point that I am no where near sober enough to have this conversation tonight because the lines between friendship and something more began to blur when I felt his skin against mine. "I think we should just be friends" He says, confirming what I thought he would say.

"Yeah, you're right" I say "I just…" I trail off awkwardly before we turn towards each other and look at one another. "I… Damon," I say awkwardly. "I just don't think we sh-"I start before I stop midsentence and look at his piercing ocean blue eyes which are staring at me like they are waiting for me to say something that defines our relationship.

Suddenly, an overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss his plump read lips overtakes my body and I quickly move in and capture them with mine. As soon as our mouths touch I can feel his surprised lips against mine and we mould together perfectly, just like I remember.

The electricity through our bodies feels like it could explode out at any moment as our mouths move together at record speed. I must be very drunk because without thinking, my hands find his neck and I pull myself closer into him. I feel his growing member harden in his jeans and so I pull back and continue kissing him without our bodies pressed up against each other.

Suddenly, we hear the door to the roof creak open and we pull apart quickly and see Andy standing before us with one of her friends with a shocked look on her face when she sees Damon and I holding each other's arms. There is something about people walking in on us while kissing; we've never actually finished a kiss before.

Suddenly I am pulled out of my thoughts and I realise who is standing in front of me. Andy, Damon's girlfriend.

I step back and his arms fall off mine when I take mine off his and there is space between us once again.

"I… oh my god, I'm so sorry, you uh… have a girlfriend" I stammer out quickly before I push past him and make my way to the door where Andy is still standing, I turn back before he is out of sight and my eyes land on his surprised face and now swollen lips.

I quickly tear myself away from his gaze and flee down the stairs quickly and finding myself back onto the dance floor with Bonnie and Caroline, who are still dancing with random boys.

Bonnie sees me first and must have seen the pleading look in my eyes as she grabs Caroline by the arm and pulls all three of us off the dance floor.

"I need to go…" I say quickly to my two friends and they both nod and we make our way out of the restaurant as quickly as possible, leaving behind everything that I both do and do not want to remember.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! We will definetly get more clarity about Damon and Elenas relationship in the next chapter!**

**Thanks so much to Anna for being my beta again - love you girl!**

**Shoot me a review to let me know what you thought - it would be grately appriciated! Love you all for reading xo**


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